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Quote
of the Day
You can fool some of the people some of the time and all of the people some of the time, but you can't fool all of the people all of the time.
- Abraham Lincoln

Funny Quote
Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use. - Wendell Johnson
Always borrow money from a pessimist.  He won't expect it back. - NA
Always forgive your enemies Nothing annoys them so much. - NA
Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else. - NA
An consultant is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing. - NA
Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need more.(Friend or Money !) - NA
Cheer up, the worst is yet to come. - NA
Death is hereditary. - NA
Do you have trouble making up your mind? Well, yes or no? - NA
Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't. -
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die. - NA
Everyone has a photographic memory.  Some just don't have film. - NA
Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking. - NA
For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain. - NA
I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder. - NA
I like work.  It fascinates me.  I  sit and look at it for hours. - NA
I poured Spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone. - NA
I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out. - NA
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? - NA
If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something. - NA
If it were not for Thomas Edison, we would all be watching television in the dark. - Michael L.
If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side. - NA
It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose. - Weinberg
It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world everyday always just exactly fits the newspaper. - Jerry Seinfeld
Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, then kill them. - NA
Many people quit looking for work when they find a job. - NA
Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference. - NA
Remember that as a teenager you are in the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you. - F Lebowitz
The brain is a wonderful organ.  It starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office. - Robert Frost
The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there  to appreciate it. - Franklin P. Jones
There are three sides to any argument: your side, my side and the right side. - NA
They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance. - NA
We must believe in luck. For how else can we explain the success of those we don't like? - Jean Cocturan
When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane. - NA
When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded. - NA
When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets. - NA
Where there's a will, there are five hundred relatives. - NA
You know the speed of light, so what's the speed of dark? - NA
Author in Funny Quotes
F Lebowitz
Franklin P. Jones
Jean Cocturan
Jerry Seinfeld
Michael L.
NA
Robert Frost
Weinberg
Wendell Johnson

 
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